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Hi! I’m TopTenz’s token Canadian, and I’m here to explain why you apple pie eating, baseball playing, llama-molesting Americans should be more like your northern neighbors (llama molesting is a stereotype about Americans, right?)

Whatever, the point is that Canada is awesome, and you could be too. So throw on your hockey jersey, pour yourself a nice cold glass of milk from a bag, get comfortable on your chesterfield, and proceed to learn why all of those stereotypes are stupid.

10. The Metric System

feet-to-meter-conversion

Real talk, America: other countries are laughing at you behind your back. No, it’s not because Texas makes you look fat — it’s because you won’t switch to metric. It’s a better system; don’t even argue. While you’re busy trying to remember how many gallons are in a peck, or how many cubic feet you need to fill a hogshead, we’re off jet skiing and banging supermodels. At the same time.

Sure, old habits are tough to kick, but almost every other country on Earth has managed to make the switch. Only you guys, Liberia and Myanmar are stuck in the past, and they have the excuse of crushing poverty and a brutal dictatorship. What’s your excuse, America? That’s right, you don’t have one.

I realize that switching in a country of your size is tough. But you’re not starting from scratch; metric is standard in medicine, science and the Armed Forces. If it’s good enough for the people who will take a bullet for your country, it’s good enough for you.

And hey, aren’t you guys trying to create new jobs? Think of how many people you could employ to change all those road signs, rewrite all those textbooks, and run the Metric Conversion Training Camps every citizen would be required to attend for two weeks. That’s like, a ton of jobs. A metric ton.

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